When 'Love' becomes too much
How can I write this without contradicting myself? How can 'love' the very thing we all fight for be 'too much?' Yeh Yeh, I know and please reader do not crucify me without a hearing. Hope we're cool? Any
'lover' reading this should be careful to keep sentiment aside and read this with the brain and not the heart. Leggo...
To make this topic interesting I'd like to share a short story with you. So this girlfriend of mine, Aisha had this boyfriend Tom and they were
well, best of friends; they did stuffs together, went almost everywhere
together and told each other almost everything. Now that's a perfect relationship right? (Normally most ladies would agree to my question but the guys would be like, 'why friend zone this guy?let them date and make this real..well,whatever!) Like I said, use your brain to read this not your heart.
So yesterday I called Aisha and after our long girly gossip, I asked after Tom and she was like, 'we're no longer friends' and I was so shocked, 'dammit! What happened?' That's where the true story came
in. 'The love was too much', said Aisha in a low voice.
In as much as we all want to be loved and love, we have to be very careful not to 'over love' i.e. Making the whole relationship too serious and stressful for the other person. Now this goes out to all non-married couples. Please do not misunderstand me, just try to digest this- it is good to be in a relationship where there is love but then do not overdo things, sometimes it's good to give your partner a breathing space, oh yes! It is! When you do that, you give them time to actually miss you and hello! everyone that is cool. When your boyfriend or girlfriend misses you,they tend to actually understand the reasons why
they need you in their lives. So don't over push it. Don't always call your boyfriend every 20minutes to know how he's doing or want to go on a date with your girlfriend because you 'miss' her. Yes, we all know you're in love and 'yes' it gets irritating when girls always want to sleep over at
her boyfriend's place because 'she misses his cuddles' or the guy wants to daily check up on his sweetheart in class because 'he feels she needs her man around'. Just keep it in mind that you both aren't married and
that there is 3 in 50 chance that you guys would get married in future. Do not 'give all' in any relationship outside marriage unless you'd like to be a single parent, drug addict, poverty stricken adult,psycho or schizo.
Apparently, it seemed Tom was becoming a nuisance without knowing to Aisha. He was always calling, always texting, always checking up on
her,always wanting 'to see her', 'to hear her voice' and blah blah.
Aisha on her path started ignoring his calls, stopped replying his
text messages and started giving excuses for not seeing him. According
to her anytime her phone rang, she already knew it was him and she got
tired of answering to his numerous ''hope you're fine?' 'I miss you
baby' 'you know I love you right?' And she just wasn't feeling him no
more. She said there was no room for suspense with Tom, it was just
all a bore.
Shocked? Wondering how this is all true? Try it if you doubt me. In
any relationship, over clinging does not work, it is a big no no. So
instead of dedicating your whole being to a relationship, how about
you take that extra time and build yourself. Your relationship might
not work out but who you are determines the kind of people you'll be
meeting. And also to all those who feel like its the end of the
world,wake up! Its just the end of a relationship.
Now ladies and gentlemen, you can put back your sentiments on and
discard your brains if you wish. This world is what we make of it.
Peace all.
Written by : Grace Okogwu
@GraiceAmunt
'lover' reading this should be careful to keep sentiment aside and read this with the brain and not the heart. Leggo...
To make this topic interesting I'd like to share a short story with you. So this girlfriend of mine, Aisha had this boyfriend Tom and they were
well, best of friends; they did stuffs together, went almost everywhere
together and told each other almost everything. Now that's a perfect relationship right? (Normally most ladies would agree to my question but the guys would be like, 'why friend zone this guy?let them date and make this real..well,whatever!) Like I said, use your brain to read this not your heart.
So yesterday I called Aisha and after our long girly gossip, I asked after Tom and she was like, 'we're no longer friends' and I was so shocked, 'dammit! What happened?' That's where the true story came
in. 'The love was too much', said Aisha in a low voice.
In as much as we all want to be loved and love, we have to be very careful not to 'over love' i.e. Making the whole relationship too serious and stressful for the other person. Now this goes out to all non-married couples. Please do not misunderstand me, just try to digest this- it is good to be in a relationship where there is love but then do not overdo things, sometimes it's good to give your partner a breathing space, oh yes! It is! When you do that, you give them time to actually miss you and hello! everyone that is cool. When your boyfriend or girlfriend misses you,they tend to actually understand the reasons why
they need you in their lives. So don't over push it. Don't always call your boyfriend every 20minutes to know how he's doing or want to go on a date with your girlfriend because you 'miss' her. Yes, we all know you're in love and 'yes' it gets irritating when girls always want to sleep over at
her boyfriend's place because 'she misses his cuddles' or the guy wants to daily check up on his sweetheart in class because 'he feels she needs her man around'. Just keep it in mind that you both aren't married and
that there is 3 in 50 chance that you guys would get married in future. Do not 'give all' in any relationship outside marriage unless you'd like to be a single parent, drug addict, poverty stricken adult,psycho or schizo.
Apparently, it seemed Tom was becoming a nuisance without knowing to Aisha. He was always calling, always texting, always checking up on
her,always wanting 'to see her', 'to hear her voice' and blah blah.
Aisha on her path started ignoring his calls, stopped replying his
text messages and started giving excuses for not seeing him. According
to her anytime her phone rang, she already knew it was him and she got
tired of answering to his numerous ''hope you're fine?' 'I miss you
baby' 'you know I love you right?' And she just wasn't feeling him no
more. She said there was no room for suspense with Tom, it was just
all a bore.
Shocked? Wondering how this is all true? Try it if you doubt me. In
any relationship, over clinging does not work, it is a big no no. So
instead of dedicating your whole being to a relationship, how about
you take that extra time and build yourself. Your relationship might
not work out but who you are determines the kind of people you'll be
meeting. And also to all those who feel like its the end of the
world,wake up! Its just the end of a relationship.
Now ladies and gentlemen, you can put back your sentiments on and
discard your brains if you wish. This world is what we make of it.
Peace all.
Written by : Grace Okogwu
@GraiceAmunt
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